There's a Child Out Here, People. That's the Reality.

Join me on my journey through parenthood. BYOHelmet.

Throwing in the towel at 8:36 AM May 13, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 8:44 am

What the hell just happened, y’all?

4:10 AM–dream that toddlerchild has been turned into a seal. No, that’s just the melodious sounds of his barking cough coming through the monitor.

4:10-? Toss. Turn. Contemplate the meaning of life what to wear to work.

5:51 AM. Snap to full attention. Was that? Did he? Is he? CRYING? Check monitor. He’s standing up?! WTF?!

5:53 AM Try to convince fully alert toddler that it’s still night time.

5:54 AM Give up. Go through ten step process to bring Barney to life without my glasses, while doing the pee dance because I was so flustered with the whole thing I forgot the most important first step. (New moms and future breeders, take heed: always, ALWAYS, pee first. Your child will not notice the thirty-second delay, and you never know when that chance will come again.)

5:55 AM-7:35 AM Take two hours to make it out of the house because I am fumbling around in a stupor, half doing ten tasks at once while being verbally berated by an indignant midget who has somehow decided that this whole undertaking is somehow my fault. (On the way to daycare, he screeched at me to TURN OFF THE SUN, MAMA. If only I could, buddy.)

It’s a good thing I used those early morning hours to decide on a very simple dress and heels for work, because I could not have been expected to make it out of the house wearing both a shirt and pants today.

Have a lovely Friday.


WHERE CAKE?! May 9, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 2:28 pm

What more can I add to the overabundance of Mother’s Day posts out there? Meh, let’s hit the high points, just for funsies.

I have a mom. She is fantastic. I abuse her good nature and take advantage of her giving spirit on the regular.

I am a mom. I get lots of breaks but I miss lots of moments. This makes me sit down for an entire episode of Dinosaur Train instead of loading the car before work, because A wants me to sit with him for “five minute.” It also makes me feel like I walk around half empty, half of my life.

My friends have lost moms. Some of the sweetest, best people I’ve ever met or e-met are experiencing the agony of the first year without a loving mom to give a card and a hug to. This makes me hug mine a little harder, and shed a tear for their loss that I can’t imagine facing.

This weekend, Andrew and I spent the whole time at the family compound since my mom had the nerve to be born on the 6th of May. Way to bookend those holidays, mom. Andrew and I sent her flowers and showed up on her doorstep. He was super duper excited to find out that Friday was her birthday.

A: “Mamie birthday coming up.” (Yes, that’s what he said in the car, unprompted. Weirdo)

 Me: “Actually, it’s today.”

 A: “TODAY?!” [insert toddler seizure of glee]

We enter the parentals’ casa.


Ahh, so that’s what that was. Not elation over celebrating the woman who loves you the most (outside of the one who gestated you) but a desire for CAKE. I don’t think he’s that different than most adults in that respect.