There's a Child Out Here, People. That's the Reality.

Join me on my journey through parenthood. BYOHelmet.

Sometimes October 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 9:17 am

Sometimes, I have to consciously decide to relax as I rock Andrew to sleep, knowing that being stressed about how long it takes won’t help him fall asleep faster.

Most of the time, I savor the seconds and stare at his face and breathe in his scent because I know soon someone else will get to put him to bed and I won’t be there.

Sometimes I let him explore items I shouldn’t (hello, DVD collection. The toddler finger smudges are a nice addition) while I multitask so everything can be done by his bed time, and I can collapse on the couch.

Most of the time, I let the house go unchecked because I know it will all be there tomorrow, and he won’t.

Sometimes I put off grocery shopping because I know I have just enough left to scrape together a passable dinner.

Most of the time, I make sure to shop the day before I have him so all his preferred foods are waiting.

Most of the time, I rush to pick him up from daycare because I know our time is limited.

Most of the time, I keep my perspective and don’t lose my temper when he does because I know I’ll get a break soon.

Most of the time, I try to find something for us to do–dinner in the park, walking to get the mail every day–that lets us spend quality time together. 

  

  

 Sometimes I wonder if I’ve ruined my kid’s life with my own selfish choices. Most of the time, I don’t.

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5 Responses to “Sometimes”

  1. Mary Says:

    I’ve been reading pretty much since the beginning — you’re still in my Google Reader as “There’s a Baby in Here, People,” if that gives you any idea. I know it probably is a weird thing to say, as someone who’s never so much as commented before (that I remember)… But I know everything that’s happened has been hard on you, particularly because of how it might affect your son, and it’s nice to see you in such a good place. I know it’s cliche, but the best thing for kids really is to have happy parents, whatever that takes. He’s lucky to have such a great mom.

    • aggieonboard Says:

      You’re right, he is completely surrounded by love no matter whose house he’s at. He’s a very lucky boy, and I’m lucky to have such loving readers 🙂

  2. crownedbee Says:

    You DID NOT ruin his life. You are doing everything in your power to make a better life for him. *hugs*

  3. Jessica Says:

    I agree with Mary. I stumbled across your blog back when the baby was still ‘In here’ and every so often I’ll come by and read about what’s new. I know it seems weird, and by some reasoning seemed a little less weird if I didn’t comment as just some random reader, but I really enjoy reading your blog. There’s something about the way you tell your stories that always makes me smile – it’s probably the sarcasm 🙂 But to make a long story short, I admire you for keeping your witty perspective even as you go through such big transitions and I hope you keep your blog going. You’re doing a great job!


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