There's a Child Out Here, People. That's the Reality.

Join me on my journey through parenthood. BYOHelmet.

Wordless Wednesday (almost) October 13, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 10:12 am

Usually I think of these as kind of a cop-out, but you deserve a visual respite before I tell you about our hair-raising return flight(s). That will come as soon as I can bring myself to revisit the horrific events, but for now here’s a sampling of the word bank:

delay, screaming, biting, spasm, tears, elmo

Much like childbirth, the trauma will soon fade and what follows  is all that will remain.



Yep, that was pretty much the suckage I expected. October 10, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 8:38 pm

Long story, short: we made it, just three and a half hours late and in a different city than we wanted.

Long story, embellished: things went south before the landing gear were even tucked safely away, as DFW gobbled up our tiny layover in Houston before takeoff. They left us just enough hope for A and I to sprint through IAH, almost taking out a grandma on the tram. I ran–or as close as I could come to running while carrying a 27 lb human and 50 lb diaper bag–and reached the gate while the plane was still there. Sweet! Except for the part where they’d closed the doors and didn’t care that this crying toddler and his crying mama were now stuck.

We got one of the very last seats on the last flight to a nearby airport, and luckily my parents were able to get our luggage before collecting us at the detour.

But before that? I was stuck in an airport at the end of the longest day of my life alone with a toddler who was equally done. And during that three hours, almost everything that could go wrong did, to the point that i considered locking us in a bathroom stall so he’d be contained and I could sit down and breathe for a minute. (That plan went out the window when he licked the inside of a stall door during a scheduled stop.)

Dinner was a fail, with a ridiculous wait and no kid-friendly food (at chili’s, no less) and his predilection for dipping his fingers in ketchup whenever I turned my head.

After dinner was more time to wait, but at least we found some food he’d eat in the form of yogurt and an orange–which he dropped on the floor of the bathroom right before I discovered his diarrhea blowout.

And then discovered that I forgot to pack wipes.

So I strapped him to the changing table and went to rock myself in the corner.

Eventually the second flight boarded. We got moved to the very back of the tiny plane because that’s the only seat with an infant life vest, or because I pissed off the customer service lady who got a piece of my mind about the missed connection. Either way, it was now two hours past his bedtime and he was cranky as hell. So was momma, not surprisingly.

I used all our same tricks and we survived, but it was not a smooth ride like the first flight. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the nice grandpa next to us who was patient and kind. And to send a big eff you with a side of herpes to the eye-rolling teenagers in front of us who politely invited him to move to an open seat so Andrew wouldn’t bother them.

Tomorrow we do it all again, hopefully with less drama. In between the two we did a lot of this:

[“This” being a couple of adorable shots of Andrew loving the ocean, but since the wireless connection here is like dial-up swimming through molasses, that’s not going to happen until we get home tomorrow.]

And that made it all worthwhile.


Well this should be fun. October 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 10:54 am

To do today and tomorrow:


training after school


fly alone with toddler

Wait, what? I’ve been penciling that in nonchalantly, trying to downplay the abject terror that threatens to overtake me as soon as I consider the reality of singlehandedly maneuvering a suitcase and toddler through the airport on a very tight timeline. When I feel myself reaching for a paper bag, I revisit the positives:

two short flights with a little time in between to stretch his legs

lots of several snacks and many two distracting activities packed

terminal drop-off and parents waiting (with carseat) to pick us up on the other side

family that has most of what he needs—I just have to bring clothes and his baby crack sound machine

I also took copious notes about  Ariana’s experience and will be mimicking it as much as I can (in coach) (alone) (help.)

Has anyone seen my paper bag?


Sometimes October 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 9:17 am

Sometimes, I have to consciously decide to relax as I rock Andrew to sleep, knowing that being stressed about how long it takes won’t help him fall asleep faster.

Most of the time, I savor the seconds and stare at his face and breathe in his scent because I know soon someone else will get to put him to bed and I won’t be there.

Sometimes I let him explore items I shouldn’t (hello, DVD collection. The toddler finger smudges are a nice addition) while I multitask so everything can be done by his bed time, and I can collapse on the couch.

Most of the time, I let the house go unchecked because I know it will all be there tomorrow, and he won’t.

Sometimes I put off grocery shopping because I know I have just enough left to scrape together a passable dinner.

Most of the time, I make sure to shop the day before I have him so all his preferred foods are waiting.

Most of the time, I rush to pick him up from daycare because I know our time is limited.

Most of the time, I keep my perspective and don’t lose my temper when he does because I know I’ll get a break soon.

Most of the time, I try to find something for us to do–dinner in the park, walking to get the mail every day–that lets us spend quality time together. 



 Sometimes I wonder if I’ve ruined my kid’s life with my own selfish choices. Most of the time, I don’t.