There's a Child Out Here, People. That's the Reality.

Join me on my journey through parenthood. BYOHelmet.

Grief April 11, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 9:27 pm

Maybe I should have written this one first, and followed with the bedtime post to end on a happy note. Unfortunately it’s too late and I’m too tired to go back and fix it. Instead I’ll try to spin it into a metaphor for life, and I’ll pontificate on how often we’d like to rearrange events and memories to better suit our own selfish desires and….

Screw it.

I’m sad, y’all. I’m sad that it has been seven years since my Uncle Mike died so unexpectedly. I’m sad that Andrew won’t ever know the man who gave him his middle name. I’m sad that Googling his name yields no results, because he died before the internet really got hopping. He has no Facebook, no LinkedIn profile. He won’t ever see his third son graduate from high school; he didn’t see the first two, either.

My family will always be one short. Every holiday is one more without him; every April is another countdown to the Official Day. But we don’t just grieve on that day. It’s constantly in the back of my mind as the day draws nearer. I become less patient, more moody. Less secure, more needy. Less Me, more Sad. I become something uncomfortable, I take on a personality that just doesn’t quite fit, like pre-Thanksgiving pants after New Year’s that grab in all the wrong places. And then, it goes away for another year. And that doesn’t feel right, either.

I’m sad, y’all.

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2 Responses to “Grief”

  1. Miranda Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, no matter how long ago it was. 😦

  2. Mom Says:

    It always makes us sad and we miss him so many days but he wouldn’t want you to be sad for long. Just do your best to teach Travis and Andrew about what kind of person he was and how much we loved him. Share your memories with them when you can. Dad and I love you bunches and bunches.


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