Sometimes as I write a post, I think about the people who I know will read it. Occasionally, this prompts me to warn my dad when there’s TMI on the horizon, or to temper what I say because Mr. Aggie clicks over occasionally and I don’t want to upset him. Most of the time, I’m wondering if Miranda will be able to relate or if MacKenzie will file it away for future reference.
Now it’s a little bit different. I suppose I’ve always known that some people might be reading this blog for sinister reasons; that they might be looking for the latest gossip about my marriage or wanting to see me fail. What makes it different now is that is that I know for sure one such person does exist. This person has never met me, and knows only what one person in my life chooses to report (not Mr. Aggie). She has never heard my perspective, or my outgoing voicemail message. She wouldn’t recognize me in Target and she certainly won’t be getting a Christmas card.
Yet somehow, knowing she’s out there and waiting to say something hateful makes my fingers freeze above the keyboard. I want to write for those who care about me and my child; those who want to see A’s most recent escapade or hear about my latest hilarious mistake. I don’t want my experience here to be affected by her. And yet, it is. And she’s just the one who’s vocal about her open disdain for my existence. How many others are out there with her, pitchforks in hand?
If you’ve received hate mail, how do you handle it? Was a one person specifically? Do you think that make a difference? Should we TP her house?
There's a Child Out Here, People. That's the Reality. 
You might not remember me but I used to go on the bump a lot before I got pregnant. I love reading your blog b/c I always thought you had the cutest baby int he world! 😉
I have never received hate mail but to be honest, don’t pay attention to that person and keep doing/ writing w/e you want. Some people just think they are hollier than thou when they are really not. She’s probably bored with her life and has nothign better to do!
LET ME AT HER! If there’s some crazy e-stalker out there…wait, I’m an e-stalker…
If there’s some crazy e-hater out there, I seriously need to have a word with her. She’s keeping me from reading what might be one of the most well-written, “undiscovered” blogs on the interwebz.
But for real, I don’t do well with criticism, constructive or otherwise, so not only would my e-feelings be hurt by negative feedback, my real feelings would be hurt as well.
However, I don’t think you should let this naysayer get you down. Keep blogging. And when a comment from her pops up, hit that lovely little button known as DELETE. And then smirk a self-satisfied smile that you have the power to do that. And maybe you can do an evil laugh and tap your fingers together, too.
Muah ha ha.
EXACTLY.
::taps fingers together like Burns::
I can picture you doing the “delete and laugh” thing very clearly. I know my sometimes stubborn daughter who handled all that debate can handle this, even if it is more personal. Don’t read, just delete – your new motto when it comes to her post. She must lead a miserable life and is trying to affect yours. Love you bunches and bunches and you are a wonderful mom, daughter, sister, cousin.
Awww, thanks mom!
I’m up for TPing. Just let us know where she lives 🙂
But on a more serious note, the delete key is your friend. I worry a lot about what I write but other than a few random trollers, we haven’t had any bad experiences yet. Whenever I wish my blog was cooler or had more traffic, I think about the downsides and realize that I’m happy with the few fun people who do read it. My skin is way to thin to be popular. Just try to keep thinking about your fun happy readers (like moy) and that it’s your blog and you have the power to control it.
I never pegged you as the TPing type. I’m intrigued.
I have many sides. Some of them are dark 🙂
I’ve had those same fears, but with sharing pictures of Aidan. I don’t have any advice.
First off, I love reading about A’s recent escapades. Second, your ability to approach parenthood with honesty and a sense of humor are what make your blog one of my favorites to read. Its a shame that someone would use it against you.
Personally, I’ve never received hate mail. But if I did, I’d like to say I would be able to ignore it and not get my feelings hurt. Truthfully though, I’d probably be hurt. I’ve had the same thoughts about where to draw the line on sharing personal stuff on my blog, and its complicated. I’ve come to the conclusion that if its not something I’m willing to say to someone’s face then I shouldn’t write it. In a way, that has made me bolder in what I do choose to share, sort of a “if I really feel this way, I might as well own it” approach.
If I were in your situation, I would also be really weirded out. It ruins my whole day even when I get into a half-acrimonious political debate on Facebook with somebody I actually know (which is why I rarely post anything of real substance on my own blog). But you do have options. 1) Just stop blogging, if it sucks too bad. Obviously, I don’t want you to this because I love your blog and getting to feel like I know your sweet baby. 2) As others have suggested, just delete, early and often. 3) Leave the hateful comments up and allow your other readers to pick them apart for you. Fun times!
Seriously, though, I have a direct message for Mystery Person, in case she ever sees this comment: Hi! I know that sometimes, other people’s actions are offensive and annoying and you just want to lash out about them. But you’re being weird about this. If this blogger gets to you, then do what most adults do about people they don’t like–complain *behind their backs*, to your friends who don’t them or to your mom or something. Don’t feel like you should go taunting a young mother on the internet. The less she’s willing to post, the less the rest of us get to see adorable baby pictures. Thanks for reading, Mystery Person.
I think your message to her is very fair and balanced. I especially like the ending.
I especially like her #3. 🙂 But I’m feisty like that.
It kills me that she has that much free time on her hands to send hate mail. Perhaps she could do something productive with her time…but instead she finds herself badmouthing you. She is a wacko, apparently and needs to mind her own business. It’s sad that a grown woman needs to follow a rule that we tell to elementary aged children. On the other hand, like the others have said, I think you should use the delete key when needed and just keep blogging because we love your blog and love that adorable A and on a selfish note I, for one, love to hear about all the mommy stuff as it prepares me for what will hopefully be my future one day! Mistakes and all! 🙂
Thanks, [coworker]. You’re going to be a great mom someday. I am happily using the delete key, along with Miranda’s maniacal laugh.