There's a Child Out Here, People. That's the Reality.

Join me on my journey through parenthood. BYOHelmet.

What a great day April 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 9:05 pm

And what made it great was that nothing special happened.

I picked up A from daycare as soon as  I could.  (Full disclosure: sometimes I don’t fly out the door to get him after work. I know that I’ve got several hours of solo duty ahead of me, and that he’s having a great time playing at daycare. I admit that sometimes I’m not in a rush. It’s ugly but it’s true.)

We sang some in the car on the way home, but mostly he scoped out other drivers and I talked to my mom on the phone.

At home, we just hung out.  We played with the toy I posted about that he recently mastered. We played with all kinds of toys, actually, and things that didn’t become toys until he discovered them (see: ink pen and tupperware lid.) Sometimes he played while I laid on the floor. Sometimes he got so pooped that he lay down beside me.  Those times we watched blues clues and he did his special arm dance when we got a letter.

As he motored around the room, he’d stop. He’d walk over to me and lay his head on my chest. Then he’d give me a kiss and get back up to play.

While we waited for dinner to cool, we went out back. He loves to be outside but isn’t totally sold on our grass. He’s not around grass too much, I’m realizing, and ours sucks. It’s like the brillo pad of grass. I blew some bubbles for him and he loved it. He tried to take over but I could tell he was just going to make out with the wand and it wouldn’t have ended well. Unlike his mother, he doesn’t deserve to have his mouth washed out with soap.

When I put him in the grass, he did the same thing he did yesterday. I have to get a picture. He just stood there (that’s not the frameworthy part) with his hands behind his back. Just rocking and thinking and standing there, arms clasped behind him. So. Cute.

After fun in the bath, he played more while I worked on more of the chores that I do piecemeal throughout the evening. Eventually, about an hour after his usual bed time, I decided to put him down even though he wasn’t fussing. He took his bottle, rocked, and went into the crib happily. He sat there, looked at me, and held his arms up to be picked up.

Ferber says leave him, and I almost always do what Ferber says. But this time my Mommy instinct said pick him up.  So I did. He put his head on my shoulder for about fifteen seconds. Then he wanted back in the crib.

When I left the room, he was sitting up in the crib. I knew the click of the door would trigger the wailing. Except that it didn’t. He played happily for awhile, and at some point during my Modern Family episode he fell asleep.

Thank you, A, for a wonderful night.

 

Great Idea for Mother’s Day April 23, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 8:57 pm

This isn’t really the target audience for suggestions, I guess, since I imagine most of you to be young, hip mommas like myself. (Because imagining you to be old, crotchety dudes gives me the heebie-jeebies.) So feel free to forward this bad boy to your significant others as a super-subtle hint.

I don’t know about you, but I would love for someone to give me this. (<–Most subtle hint ever.)

(That’s the link to the seller’s etsy page. I don’t know the person/company and wasn’t compensated in any form for sharing this recommendation, so mosey along FTC. There’s nothing to see here.)



 

A contradiction

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 10:18 am

This is the me that I know. The comfortable me. The one who doesn’t wear eyeliner for fear of looking like Amy Winehouse, or like a pirate once the eye patch becomes a necessity.  The I Don’t Need a Man and SATC, WTF? me.  The give me power tools or give me death me.

 

Recently, I’ve taken on some new behaviors that are moving me away from this version of myself. I’m baking cookies and buying shoes. Wearing dresses and fixing my hair. Even looking at beautiful things like this:

(found at beautiful places like this)

So now, I’m unsure. Am I changing? Or pretending? Growing? Or running? Justified? Or overthinking?

 

After all, isn’t that the reality I promised? April 21, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 10:50 am

I think we’re all guilty of glossing over things when it comes to our side of the story. In my case this tendency manifests itself in the most trivial of ways. However, I’m sure I’m not alone. With the possible exception of Mandy in this post, I think most bloggers are guilty of only showing the pretty stuff from time to time.

When it comes to posting pictures, I am much more likely to provide purdy DSLR shots (unedited, sadly, because I no longer have access to iPhoto. Tear.) than ones like the picture below. However, I’ve decided that the banana all over his shirt and the crap on the TV stand behind him and the fact that all I had was my crummy camera phone that can launch a spaceship but can’t take a decent photo no matter what shouldn’t keep the world from seeing what my little guy can do.

For the first time ever, he selected this toy (designed for 18 mo+, natch) and was also able to remove and replace the rings. He’s so smart!

 

Random! Pictures! April 15, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 8:14 pm

 

Grief April 11, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 9:27 pm

Maybe I should have written this one first, and followed with the bedtime post to end on a happy note. Unfortunately it’s too late and I’m too tired to go back and fix it. Instead I’ll try to spin it into a metaphor for life, and I’ll pontificate on how often we’d like to rearrange events and memories to better suit our own selfish desires and….

Screw it.

I’m sad, y’all. I’m sad that it has been seven years since my Uncle Mike died so unexpectedly. I’m sad that Andrew won’t ever know the man who gave him his middle name. I’m sad that Googling his name yields no results, because he died before the internet really got hopping. He has no Facebook, no LinkedIn profile. He won’t ever see his third son graduate from high school; he didn’t see the first two, either.

My family will always be one short. Every holiday is one more without him; every April is another countdown to the Official Day. But we don’t just grieve on that day. It’s constantly in the back of my mind as the day draws nearer. I become less patient, more moody. Less secure, more needy. Less Me, more Sad. I become something uncomfortable, I take on a personality that just doesn’t quite fit, like pre-Thanksgiving pants after New Year’s that grab in all the wrong places. And then, it goes away for another year. And that doesn’t feel right, either.

I’m sad, y’all.

 

Heartwarming tales, part deux

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 9:19 pm

Except this one really is sweet.  Tonight I was rocking A to sleep, with his bedtime bottle (does that make you feel better, Miranda?) and for once staring at his beautiful profile instead of running through the massive to-do list waiting for me on the other side of his door.

I gave him a few soft kisses on his cheek, and he stopped taking the bottle. He lowered it, leaned up, and gave me a huge kiss right on the lips.  He grinned and snuggled back into my arms.

Everybody: “Awww….”