There's a Child Out Here, People. That's the Reality.

Join me on my journey through parenthood. BYOHelmet.

Know what makes me feel like a rockstar mom? February 28, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 8:45 am

Getting up with my kid at 6:10 without cursing at him (even in my head) and proceeding to make his favorite waffles from scratch.

The recipe comes from PW’s Tasty Kitchen (search for “easy waffles”) and is so, so simple. We do freeze the rest so I can feel like a supermom without the mess.

He loves them, I love them, and now we all go back to sleep.



Let’s Start Typing and See What Happens February 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 8:38 pm

Hmmm….There’s so much going on right now, and I can/will talk about almost none of it. I’m tapping absentmindedly on the keyboard, wondering what will come out.

Maybe I’ll tell you about my epic fall in the hallway at school yesterday. I’m not particularly clumsy by nature, but apparently I go big when I go down. I was walking by the art room when my foot caught on a miscreant parka. My right foot skied away on the down-filled POS and the rest of my appendages shot out in all directions, hoping in vain to salvage the situation.

I think, based on the resulting pain, that I landed on my knees and right wrist. I can’t be sure, because I sprang up faster than a televangelist caught en flagrante in some rest stop bushes.

It was  so bad, y’all, that people actually came out into the hallway to see why a herd of elephants collided with a migrating tribe of water bison there by the art room. I laughed at myself, of course, and continued to laugh for quite some time. So then I wasn’t just the resident klutz, I was also the resident crazy. Awesome.

It didn’t stop me from telling everyone who didn’t see, but it did stop me from wearing heels today. Methinks I’ll keep it close to the ground for awhile.


It’s raining Puffs February 19, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 9:10 am

So earlier this week, Andrew and I endured an epic commute replete with traffic, construction, errands, and general grumpiness. I tried everything–emergency teething biscuit, sippy cup, obnoxious toy that makes me want to stick my head out the window and roll it up to the point that I cease to be able to inhale or exhale and thus pass into another realm, that, Lord willing, lacks anything Made in China or Irritating as Hell, and empty plastic bottle.

All worked for a short time, but we were still about fifteen minutes from home when the last of my gimmicks lost its luster. I glaced at the passenger seat. I questioned.  I debated. I vacillated. And then, I caved.

I handed my squalling child a virtually brand-new box of tissues and let the madness begin.

It was totally worth it.


Squee! My first hate mail! February 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 1:05 pm

Two things, and then nothing else:
1. I have never claimed innocence in regards to my marital struggles. I have claimed, however, that the particulars of our situation are NUNYA.
2. I am eternally grateful for comment moderation, which enables me to prevent nosy Nellies from expressing their opinions on my blog. “It’s my blog and I’ll spam who I want to / Spam who I want to…”
3. I’m really excited about my tortilla soup and turkey sandwich. I know I said only two, but this one’s not related so it’s okay. And if it’s not, see #2.


Just in case I needed to be reminded of what a blogging FAIL I am February 12, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 1:02 pm

My Christmas post is still on the first page, here in mid-February. I rule.

I’m a fail at so many things right now. Some it’s reasonable for me to be down on myself for (the demise of my marriage, for one), others not so much. (Does A not walk yet because I’ve pulled his hips out of socket by lifting his legs up for diaper changes for 365+ consecutive days?)

As we wait for him to wake from a morning nap, let’s ruminate on all the areas in which I suck, suck, suck.

Le blog, for one. For all you know we never made it out of pediatric urgent care and I’m still at the facility, beating the shit out of the incompetent receptionist.  I’ve said nothing about his birthday and even stopped taking his monthly pictures at nine months.

With all the relationship drama, breastfeeding just kind of stopped. A was with Mr. Aggie for the weekend and I couldn’t make myself pump, knowing the girls were failing me anyway. I fear I will regret this for quite a long time.

This post is depressing, and it’s my blog so I’ll quit when I want to. Here’s a happy picture to get the bitter-blogger taste out of your mouth.