There's a Child Out Here, People. That's the Reality.

Join me on my journey through parenthood. BYOHelmet.

I didn’t know we could! December 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 10:32 am

My mom was feeding Andrew yet another “junk” food. As she passed him one more bite of cinnamon roll, I sarcastically asked why she hadn’t given him a chocolate covered french fry yet.

“I didn’t know we could!” she replied.

And I wonder why my ass will take up twice as much space in the seat on the ride home as it did on the way here.


Good Question December 26, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 4:52 pm

Mr. Aggie, Andrew and I have thoroughly enjoyed Christmas at my parents.

There have been a lot of these.

Two of which we don’t know how we’ll get home.

But the best part has been spending time with family during the only one of these I can remember.

Around noon, we trotted out all the fabulous food leftover from yesterday. I looked from Mr. Aggie to my parents, who were fawning over A and offering him different samples of the food (again).

“Remind me, why are we leaving?” I asked.

Mr. Aggie looked back, the wheels already turning. “I don’t have plans. As long as I get to watch football tomorrow, I’m good.” (Oh, to be a man. Life seems so much simpler.)

So instead of loading down the SUV and trekking back home today, we’ve decided to wait until the morning. Which is awesome, because I just started my third book since we’ve been here.


Today was my day off? Really? December 22, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 10:12 pm

While I have no desire to wade off into the quagmire that is the SAHM/working mom debate, I will say that days that I work outside the home I don’t feel nearly as exhausted as I do on my days “off.”

Today was textbook for awesome baby behavior. Andrew STTN, took a 2.5 hour morning nap, was a doll at the mall (oh, looky, a rhyme!), came home and took another nap. I napped then, too, and we headed out again to Target.

And yet? All I want to do now that he’s in bed is curl up in a nice bottle of wine and call it a night.

But before I do, here’s the jewel of the day: Andrew’s first Santa visit. Oh, how I love this photo. The disgruntled teenager helpful elf offered to keep trying for a smile but I thought this would be better on the blog and better for the prom date.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Love. Love. Love.


And that’s why I am the way I am December 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 7:14 pm

My family, like yours, has our own peculiar holiday habits. Last year I introduced a new one with a heartfelt gift I gave my dad.

Isn’t he hideous? I insisted that he be displayed prominently and Dad, being the good sport he is, complied.

Fast forward about 358 days. We’re exchanging gifts with one side of the family but aren’t going to open our gifts to/from each other until next weekend. With the exception of this one giant box that dad insists  I open.

I should have seen it coming. I know that now. But at the time, I was all OOOH! A GIFT! FOR ME!!! and everyone had their cameras ready and I thought, this is either really awesome, or it’s going to be really funny. Whichever it is, make sure you get my good side.

And then I felt it. And I knew.

He found it after-Christmas shopping last year. He’s been holding on to it for an entire trip around the sun, waiting to get me back.

Please note how incredibly uneven his eyes are. Dad went back to get this one specifically for that reason, because he knew it would drive me BONKERS.

He said we can call a truce, but I’m not about to back down now. It’s just starting to get interesting, now that we expect it.

Also? I can’t wait to put this in my office and watch people struggle to find the proper reaction. It’s going to be fabulous.


Never say never. December 10, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 3:18 pm

I never thought I could spend more than ten minutes with a room full of five-year-olds without losing my sanity and my teaching certification. Over the last week, though, I’ve spent upwards of an hour each day in one of the classes. I’ve been helping a long-term sub and it has been much more enjoyable than expected. My expectation was on par with root canal or sitting next to Crazy Uncle Larry at Christmas dinner, but I was pleasantly surprised. In kinder you hear gems like this one:

Me, during a read aloud: I bet your parents work hard, too.

Girl: My mom yes, my dad not really.

Or yesterday, I was watching them come into the room and thinking about how much I enjoy them and maybe my heart really isn’t two sizes too small when one of them walked up and proudly showed me she had lost a tooth during P.E. That was mildly nauseating, but it got much worse.

Another girl showed me the tooth, perched daintily on her glove and leaving blood spots on her white mitten.

Guess I spoke too soon.


Bullet points are in order December 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — aggieonboard @ 12:51 pm

Mommy lived it up at Happy Hour last night, so the brain’s a bit foggy this morning. But since I haven’t posted at all in December, and because I want to share some cute videos for the first time (thank you, Black Friday flip camera) I’m just going to start writing.

But first (see, so organized already!), a completely irrelevant video of Andrew trying to figure out a banana. He went through a phase where he loved, loved, loved bananas. As you can see from his face, that time has ended. Note: the video is longer than necessary. Watch if it all if you want, but the first fifteen seconds tell you all you need to know.

  • Can I just say how freaking awesome it was to sit down at a table full of coworkers after work yesterday and enjoy an adult beverage (or two)? Oh, how I needed that. And all I had to do was ask. I’m thinking of asking every week.
  • In an hour or two Andrew is heading to spend the night with Mr. Aggie’s parents. I don’t know who is more excited, them or me. The first time he left for an overnight trip I stood in the driveway and cried. This time I will stand in the driveway and dance a jig. All of you non-babyraisers out there who are now all huffy about my eagerness to offload my kid may pick from the following responses: a) You have NO IDEA what it is like to be responsible for every need of another being for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and thus how intoxicating it is to be able to hand that responsibility over to anyone someone else for a short period of time or b) EFF YOU.
  • Tonight is my staff Christmas party. I love, love, love this event. It’s fascinating to see people socially that you normally only see minding their p’s and q’s as they educate the next generation. Put those same people in a bar and watch the magic happen. Then there’s the whole spouse aspect. With some, it’s like, oh yeah they totally fit. With others it’s more like, you have some esplaining to do. Not to mention, my white elephant gift is awesome. It’s the perfect white elephant (sidenote: why is it called  “white elephant?” Someone google that for me, please and thank you.) gift because 75 % of people will laugh hysterically and 25 % would scalp their own mothers to get their paws on it.
  • As soon as I put Andrew on the street in the Grandpa wagon that’s about an hour late so far, I’m heading out to do some shopping and get a haircut. I’m going to new person in a new salon and I’m skeered. My hair is simple, but it’s not. Cut it right and it’s extremely low maintenance. Cut it wrong and I look like Chelsea Clinton circa 1994. So why not take the chance a couple of hours before a major social engagement? This is my idea of living on the edge.

And finally, how cute is this?