You know when you’re on a diet, all you think about is food? Being sleep deprived is like that. All I think about is how to get him to sleep. My dad pointed out what a critical time this is for him developmentally, so now when he wakes up I’m worried not only that he’ll be crabby, but also stupid.
Yesterday I saw my mom put him down for a nap. He fought it (like always) but then slept two hours. Without moving. I tried the same techniques and position, and he woke up every fifteen minutes for two hours until we gave up.
I’ve never really failed at anything the way I’m failing at this, and it’s making me insane. Thank goodness I’m out for the summer now, because if I had to function in the real world, or even put on real pants, I would be hosed. Hosed, I tell you.
At this moment he is finally sleeping on his own, after a thirty minute battle (which isn’t that long, considering his capabilities) but he will most likely awaken in the next ten minutes. And I will cry, because when it comes to getting my baby to sleep peacefully and adequately, I’m a big fat failure.
The next kid is going straight into the crib. I *might* take him/her out for feedings, or I might just figure out a way to shove my boob in there. That one will come out when he/she climbs out.