I don’t care if I’m the last holdout on Earth, I refuse to go anywhere near the clusterf*ck that is Twitter. I will never type the address or follow someone like a misguided lemming. And I absolutely REFUSE to add to my vernacular the inane term that I believe denotes the actual post someone makes to their page or whatever-I-don’t-know-but-I-heard-Diane-Sawyer-say-it-and-that’s-just-wrong (hint: it’s the sound a bird makes). Shudder.
I know this might offend some of my Twitter-happy readers, but how freaking narcissistic do you have to be to think people need a constant play-by-play of the daily minutiae that is your life? I myself am guilty of the occasional status update on Facebook, but that’s different. I’m not sure how, but it is. Also, I’ m aware that I have to be pretty self-centered to have a blog, but people tell me all the time that I should and that’s it’s funny and that I have nice shiny hair.
If you need me, Wilson the volleyball and I will be surfing blogs (including yours) on my Google Reader which I just learned how to use. Yeah, I know that’s pathetic. Shut your face. *
*I was going to say “why don’t you go ____ about it” but honestly, internets, I couldn’t even bring myself to type it. I HATE THAT WORD. Besides, there’s always room for more well-played ‘shut your face’ directives in the world.