Before I delve into today’s topic that inspired the title, I’ll let you in on one of my little quirks. I always wake up with a song in my head. I don’t remember when this started; it’s been a couple of years at least. They come from nowhere and everywhere but they always come. This morning’s ditty was an unexpected throwback to my childhood, spent in a small town with exactly two radio stations (Christian and country), no MTV, and a movie theater that only showed movies approved by the local Christian college.
The race is on and here comes pride in the backstretch
Heartache’s goin to the inside
My tears are holdin’ back
They’re a tryin’ not to fall…
Okay, that’s enough. Just looking up the lyrics was enough to get it stuck in my head all over again. I haven’t listened to country music in over five years, so Sawyer Brown in certainly not a welcome visitor in my morning monologue.
Wait, what was the purpose of this post? Oh yeah, what’s always on my mind: Boobs. Specifically, mine. Specifically what they’re doing (leaking, filling, emptying) or not doing (filling enough, looking like they did pre-Stinks). Fortunately today they’re doing a much better job of making enough juice. Mr. Aggie may have been right (gasp!) that I was overtired and stressed. Last night I went to put Andrew down at 7:00 and Mr. Aggie found me two hours later when he got home from class, passed out next to the babe with my shoes still on.
Saintly man that he is, he went back out to the living room and kitchen and did everything that needed to be done: cleaning, washing bottles, making muffins for today’s breakfast, etc. When Andrew woke up unexpectedly at 9:30 and I was an unbalanced lunatic, he took over while I flopped over on the couch and stared dejectedly at the coffee table gathered my wits about me. Andrew and I went back to bed soon after and woke this morning refreshed.
These events reminded me about my commitment before Andrew was born to keep my marriage my number one priority. I was a much better wife and mom back then. I know it’s hard to balance at first with all the changes and the demands of a new baby, but I’ve really neglected my husband and I feel awful about it. There are some ways in which I’m just not up to the challenge yet (Times of Marital Closeness, anyone?) but there are many other areas in which I can be a better spouse, partner, and just plain person in his life.