As we were beginning our adventure today, I realized that I only have one babycare/parenting/how not to totally eff this up book. As someone who has read five pregnancy books cover to cover and spent hours researching wtf is going on during this process, I couldn’t believe I’d let that happen.
So while Mr. Aggie got a snazzy haircut, I headed to half-priced books to rectify that situation. I was confronted by legions of them, each one doing its best to exploit my ignorance and fear in the small space a book spine provides. “Everything you need to know…” “The book you can’t survive without…” “You’ll wish you’d bought me when you horribly screw up…”
Only three succeeded: How to Babyproof Your Marriage, which turned out to suck , Your Newborn Head to Toe, which promises to answer all the questions I would otherwise annoy my pediatrician with in the middle of the night, and The Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood, which should be a nice light read.
I’d like to give a shout out to two other tomes that stuck with me for two very different reasons: Why Animals Sleep so Close to the Road and Other Lies I Tell my Children (looked hilarious, but not necessary at this time) and what I’m guessing to be the first collection of horror stories for the newly born: The O’Reilly Factor for Kids. I didn’t actually touch that one because I feared it could be rife with Republican cooties and I left my Germ-X in the car.