Funny, when you’re almost fully baked you can’t even say something like that without people’s eyes getting big and the color draining from their faces. Mr. Aggie and I have decided we need some type of code word/phrase for when it’s time for the big show so he’s not having heart palpitations every time I grimace. I’m all about “Thundercats are go!” from Juno, but we haven’t decided. Suggestions are welcome.
What I meant by the title is that today marks a new chapter in my OB care. As of today’s visit (2:25 central time) I have to start going weekly. That’s no big deal. The part that I’m not fond of is that I no longer have the privilege of wearing pants during said visits. I’ve asked Dr. Doom if we can skip the internals for a few weeks, since they’re basically pointless. Since he likes to torture innocent pregnant ladies (and possibly kittens) he denied my appeal. He says he likes to make sure the baby is still head down. I wish we could wait; I know I’m just going to be bummed for no reason if there’s no progress (which there shouldn’t be at this point anyway, but I’m an overachiever like that) or excited for no reason if the locks have loosened on Lenny’s escape hatch (even though it could stay that way for four more weeks).
My mom is coming to this visit, since she’s never met Dr. Doom. She felt the need to meet all my prom dates/boyfriends/lab partners so I shouldn’t be surprised. If you knew my mom, you’d understand why I’m a little skittish. Here’s an example that is burned into my psyche forever: at the eighth grade dance (an event of paramount pubescent importance), while my friends and I stood awkwardly along the wall, waiting to be noticed, my mom was in the middle of the dance floor. Surrounded by all the eighth grade boys. Teaching them to do the twist. I’m still traumatized.
Anyway, back to reality. I wish she had come to an earlier one (you know, where no one probed my ladybits) but there’s nothing I can do now. If I tried to deny her entry at this point she’d just stage (another) sit-in, and once the news crews gets involved it gets ugly.
In other news, Mr. Aggie made it home fine yesterday. He spent the weekend helping his aunt take care of her two little boys and she reports that he was an awesome fill-in dad. I had no doubts.
Now that we’re all up to speed, I’m off to run some errands with mom and then get felt up by a 50 year old man. I’ll be back later with another thrilling update.