To each of the jerks who have ‘tactfully’ and not-so-tactfully commented on my weight gain, I issue you each a stern…concession. You’re right. Dr. Doom prononced me one lifeboat lighter than the Titanic this morning and further restricted my diet. I retaliated by informing him about the blog and his moniker herein, from which he seemed to derive pleasure. Evil bastard.
I’m healthy and Lenny’s healthy, but Dr. Doom does think he/she is going to be a very large baby. He said to ask him as we enter the last month how big the baby will be. I’m assuming that’s his version of a magic trick and I’m terrified. So much so that I actually clambered onto the treadmill today in hopes of warding off a 12 lb baby. Before you freak out, you should know that 30 minutes of moderate exercise is recommended for all pregnant women and it had been so long since I’d be on the machine of death that I didn’t realize the cleaning lady had dusted it. Two weeks ago. (If you’re smart, you’ll realize I hadn’t be on it in so long it had accumulated said layers of dust.)
Anyway, here’s an updated picture so you can watch the expansion in real time. I’m overhauling my diet and habits for the next three weeks to prove to myself (and Dr. Doom) that I can make it a month without gaining ten pounds. I’ve been this heavy before, once, and I’ve lost 40 pounds to be healthy again once before, too. Again, this doesn’t mean I’ll be updating the blog from a sauna, where I’ll sit munching on celery sticks and sweating out last week’s cookies. It just means I’m going to quit making excuses and start making healthy choices. Stay tuned.