“Wow! You’re just getting bigger every day now, aren’t you?”
Desired response; “Wow, you’re even more of a douche today than yesterday. Also remarkable!”
Actual response: “Hmmm, guess so.”
To the non-inhabited out there, my proposed retort probably seems like overkill. However, there’s something about the insanely destabilizing forces behind human-building that make one quite sensitive and hormonal. Telling a rapidly expanding, chemically-imbalanced woman that she is growing larger by the day is just not prudent. Trust me on this.