You are the size of a banana. I am the size of a house. Surely you have enough room, so stop pushing my belly farther outward. People are commenting daily on how fast I’m growing. Stop being greedy.
As far as that goes, if you could also be so kind as to leave some dinner for me, that would be much appreciated. I have this image of you quickly gathering all of my food and then running off to eat in the corner, sparing not a crumb for your poor host. (Yes, I compared my baby to a parasite. I’m starving.) I’m about to eat dinner number two, can you please not steal it all? Thanks.
Also, I’m sorry the cat keeps climbing on you. She doesn’t realize that my belly isn’t the same anymore and that she will continue to slide off. Maybe you can retire to another wing in your cavernous estate while you wait for her to give up?
I’m glad we’ve had this talk, and I hope we can come to a resolution that will satisfy us both. I love you already, tremendously.
P.S. I’m about to feed you some cookies and see if you might kick Daddy so he can feel you. Try to show off, k?