So we’ve been back at school for three days (feels like three lifetimes) and several of my kids have asked the inevitable question. By far the most amusing exchange happened this afternoon. Here it is, transcribed for your pleasure:
Student, staring intently at my midsection which is about eye level for her: Are you pregnant?
Her: Is it yours?
Her: Wait, of course it is.
Her: What is it?
Me: Hopefully a human.
I know people like to “joke” about paternity (as if implying that your hormonally-imbalanced coworker/friend/relative/wife might be sleeping around is in some way amusing and/or appropriate) but that’s the first time anyone has questioned my role in the proceedings.