Well now I’ve done it January 2, 2009

I gave my dad my blog address about two hours ago. I spent the last two hours wondering just how many times I’ve typed ass, hell,damn, or some variation thereof since I’ve started this thing.

Dad’s a pretty cool guy, so I think he’ll handle it ok. Still, I’m a bit wary. Time to scroll back through the old posts and make sure I didn’t say anything too incriminating.

Dinner was fabulous, our server was not. Mr. Aggie only tipped 15%, which is a big slap in the face as far as he’s concerned. However, since that’s a pretty standard rate most people probably don’t notice. It makes him feel better, though.

Now he’s going to watch a movie I have no interest in (Death Race) and I didn’t even put up a fight at blockbuster since we both know I’ll be passed out and drooling on myself in about thirty minutes. Good times.

I tried that once…

Mr. Aggie and I are about to go to dinner (since how many more times will we get that chance without drama?) but I had to share this while it was still fresh in my memory.

We just finished assembling the bouncer (a fine piece of Fisher-Price engineering held together by four screws  and a prayer) and I was reviewing the more asinine points of the instruction manual. I read aloud my favorite ones to him:

Hint: The square end of the toy bar fits into the square socket and the circular end of the toy bar fits into the circular socket.

And the safety warnings:

Never use on a soft surface (bed, sofa, cushion).

Never use as a carrier or lift while child is seated.

Never use as a car seat.

Here’s where it gets interesting:

Me: Dispose of batteries safely. Do not dispose of this product in a fire. The batteries inside may explode or leak. Who the hell would do that?

Him: “I did that with batteries once. They exploded. Just AA’s though. Never tried it with D’s. We were camping. It was sweet.”

My next thought: If that’s what he did, what will Lenny do?